1. I feel that be it Duryodhana or Arjuna….both have positive and negative qualities…as a coin having two sides…no human is perfect…it is natural to have both qualities…but it happens that sometimes a person portrays only good qualities and hides his bad side…this creates fear insecurity b’coz it is impossible to hold on to a perfect image forever. The fear that his perfect image may break creates more fear and this brings unhappiness in the long run…please explain.
2. I feel there are people who can accept their fear, though we suppress it we don’t succeed, so does that mean if we do not face our fears we cannot escape it? Somewhere I feel we are also scared of losing or being badly defeated ‘coz our expectation from ourselves is too high, so if this is making us fearful how should we set expectations for ourselves? Also if we fail once or twice the fear of losing often makes us weaker… Also we are afraid of dying, though why is still a question. Yet this fear surfaces only sometimes and is not constant, why is this?? ‘coz the body is our most prized possession above anything else so shouldn’t the fear of losing it irritate us all the time?
Yes, all have both good and bad within. But the strength of good must be increased and bad will automatically drop.
The social conditioning that we have received and what we may have adopted is harming us. WE have forgotten to be natural at all times.
We tend to have two faces – one for home and one outside. This is unnecessary. We are people with certain negative habits like anger, greed, dislike, fear etc.
We must work on cultivating goodness, acceptance and forgiveness so the rest will fade.
Instead what we do is we keep those feelings suppressed and it only grows more.
If we understand- as mentioned that two sides of a coin- that nobody is perfect and we have to accept everyone the way they are- we too will become natural and be the way we are.
Now the fear is what others will think if they see me lose my temper?
What others will say if they know of my fears. Why are we so afraid of what others say? Why we are not worried what our inner conscience says?
Why is the outside world so important when the inner world is going more and more in turmoil?
If we take care of our inner world and manage our emotions and feelings the outside world will not affect us as much.
On perfection- it is not a correct measure- it is variable depending on each person’s perspective. Nobody is perfect. So if we are holding to an image thinking it’s perfect we are wrong there too. As even in that someone will see imperfection!
So let go…work only on the self- focus on how to increase goodness- others finally do not matter. Our concern must be of how to improve the self and what path to follow. If we are busy checking outside what others’ reactions are we will lose time to focus on the self.
Whether you do good or bad, others’ will speak something. It is their perspective.
What you feel is good and perfect they might not feel so. You feel eating non veg is avoidable. Some other person will feel you are a fool to miss something that delicious.
Some might feel spending time on spiritual pursuit is good. Others might say she is too young to go into this and she is wasting her life in all this.
People will always have something to say. It’s their nature.
Let us therefore stay focused only and only on the self- the journey within.
Fear is due to conditioning. As a child, fears are missing. Conditioning begins from parents and fears are created. It strengthens in school. We become afraid of many things. Not done homework- teacher will punish. Such small things create fear within us.
Fear is always in the word and in the thought. Death- the word itself brings fears as death is associated with images of people dying. Similarly cancer- the word might bring a fear within. Because we associate it with people who have suffered. Cancer or death as words hold no fear and yet when joined with our thoughts it creates fear.
So first drop the word. WE give too much importance to the word and the images.
If no images are created fear will not be there. Past and future – what happened is an impression and what will happen is the fear. Past impressions have created fear.
If you never knew death and never saw death would you be afraid of it? Also all the time we do not have the fear of dying. It is there only when we hear the word, or some news or see some death. Otherwise we are busy planning our next meal, our next day’s program and maybe the next year’s program. So are we actually afraid we will die?
NO- cause in that case we would not plan. Yes the body is important for us if we want to attain self-realization. Without the body it is not possible!!
Yet how much care do we take of this body? Do we remember that without this body and good health, reaching the goal is not possible? Only when we fall sick or something happens we are suddenly reminded of the body, of death, of health and that too because of fear…
When we create expectations and goals for our self we fear of not achieving it. Why do we fear? Have we faced failure in the past? Is there an impression? Or has some conditioning over the years created the fear of competition and so the fear?
Competition with the self also brings fear. We compare our climb, our steps in our journey and fear…will I reach?
Fear is there. In the words, thoughts, impressions and conditioning. How do we drop all these?
We have been taught to hold on to God or some mantra or some guru or something to manage the fear once we know it. Is it not ridiculous? That will create more fear.
The day you do not pray, you will be scared. Today I did not light the lamp/candle…I did not chant and pray, I did not go to the temple…
Conditioning is too strong. The fear will never go unless we let go of our conditioning and understand who we are… Once you know that you are not the body…a lot will change. Your perspective will change completely.
Yet fear remains until the ego remains. Only when you drop the ego-sense fear will disappear…