Desire to change others!!

We spend our entire lifetime trying to change other people who affect us directly or indirectly and at times even those who are in no way related to us.

What is the purpose of this life? To change others, expect change in others or to change ourselves?

Life is precious and we all know this. We know ‘Samay kam hai’ ‘Time is less’ and yet we spend our time for changing others, with the desire of helping them. Personally I feel we cannot change anyone and we cannot help others change also!!

The only thing that we can do is change our own self and work on the self for progress.

Very clearly I am speaking on the spiritual side of the story. While we walk the path, we want the whole troupe with us!!! Why? And how can we think that we can make them follow us or join us? They may or may not, depending on their soul agenda. We can surely force them to come along but that in no way is going to help them progress. Also there is a chance that they will prefer to walk the exact opposite direction – and we would end up misdirecting instead of directing!!

The whole journey, believe me is only of the self. This in no way means that we must not help others or guide others. Anyone who wishes to know, is on the stage of enquiry must be answered or led to a person who can answer.

Until then the only thing one can do is work on the self to the extent that you become an example for others to be in awe of. A person seeing you must feel eager to ask about your journey and want to be part of it. This again does not indicate persistence of that soul. He/she may ask a few and then just decide its too tough or that the time is not yet right. What the other soul wants or desires is based on the consciousness of that soul.

We have no right to interfere in their agenda. We can be what we are- we are beings of light, love, bliss and peace. This we can be or atleast work towards being this.

We all are the same, just that the consciousness levels vary and we might feel we have progressed while the other is yet on the journey or not begun the journey.

Here again we are judging and this judgement comes with Ego/Ahamkar.

The subtle Ego reduces our speed in our journey.

Even after achieving a lot, the Ego stays with us hidden and subtle. When it comes, when it strikes and when it destroys is unpredictable.

So the simplest thing to do is, focus on your own journey. Look inwards and stop looking outside. In the zeal to change others, help others (Actually thinking that we are doing a good karma) we might slip down a bit from our ladder.

This is because when we interfere (even for other people’s good) we take their karmas. Don’t we have enough of our own? Why interfere?

No one actually told us that we must not do the above. We are praised for our efforts in leading people on the spiritual path along with us. This is because it is counted as good karma. But when the ego ( or doership )is attached with the action and the emotion/attachment too is involved then its a sure shot disaster for us.

There is no harm in guiding people on the path if you are not attached to the person or the person’s reaction/action or anything at all. It should be a feeling of love and acceptance that will make you guide the person and not because you see the fault and wish to change them or help them.

If God cannot help them, how can we????

A question one needs to ponder on.

So then the next question is why are so many saints and gurus advising, guiding and leading people onto the spiritual path?

It is because they are self realised souls and they are not attached to the fruits of their action at all. They have no desire or wish and they are just beings of love, spreading their love.

If we have actually traversed the spiritual path and climbed much higher on the ladder we will know that we cannot actually interfere in another’s agenda. So one must strictly work on the self and find out where one is lagging behind on his journey. At this point we seek, we enquire and we meet the right Gurus for our answers.

The entire journey is only of the self and its a clear indication to focus inwards and stop looking outside.

And the day it actually happens and we turn inward, we will see the outer world in the right light. The realisation will dawn that every being you are seeing is no different from you. Acceptance, love and forgiveness then becomes just so natural…Unconditional…

Do what you can. First for the self and then for others. But in remembrance not to judge, not to expect and not to be attached to the person or to the fruits of the action.

Also one must remain connected to the Guru…he guides…he directs…he leads…

Listen to the Guru and walk as per his teachings…

Guru vakyam param vakyam

Dhyaan moolam gurur murti, pooja moolam guror padam, mantra moolam gurur vakyam, moksha moolam guru kripa…

Let us all focus on our journey…Let each one walk as per their speed and desire…WE cannot desire for others…the desire should be for the self…the burning desire to change others should change into a burning desire for self transformation.

This is the journey…


One thought on “Desire to change others!!

  1. It is a very good eye opener article. Everyone should read this. It is very true that we are knowingly or unknowingly judging the people & giving unnecessary guidance.

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