When someone is rude to you or bursts out in anger and abuses you emotionally and mentally how do you not retort back?
You have enough to say and yet many a times you keep it within you, accepting the abuse and the negative emotion not replying or retorting back.
Are you right? A voice within says you are right as you maintained the self-respect of both parties involved by keeping mum. You also feel slightly superior for being able to keep quiet or at times inferior that you are not in a position to give back.
Now lets take up the superior feeling. This is a high ego that lacks self confidence. This person thinks that he is at a higher level of consciousness and is able to control the senses better than the other. The other person who is abusing, shouting is an inferior person and has no control over self.
The inferior feeling is when you feel that the other person is older, more in control and so its better to keep quiet rather than retort and bear further consequences. Such a person would in the reverse situation remove the same emotion on a person who is inferior to him or her.
Example : If your boss is shouting at you ( for a mistake you made or didn’t make) you keep quiet because you do not want to risk your high paid job. You feel bad, and the emotion is taken home and later taken off on the ones you feel are inferior to you – your wife or kids /servant or driver etc.
To sort this issue there is a simple way to understand the whole energy exchange business.
Why does any negative energy come to us? As per the law only what has gone out can come back. So surely we have sent some negative energy out at some point for this energy to come back to us. Maybe not in this life…
This is really hard to accept as we feel we are perfect and doing our best and how can someone just come up and say something rude or behave in a wrong manner. At that moment we forget that its something that we had given that is coming back. So we receive it and also in our mind return it if not verbally. So the vibration or the energy of anger or retaliation was sent subtly to the person again. This cycle will end only when one of the two will either not accept the energy or stop sending the negative energy in return. To not accept would mean to accept the person’s behaviour – understanding that he/she is just like that and it is his nature. ( like a dog barks and a donkey brays and a lion roars- can’t expect any change in that – each person is different. Even each finger in our hand is different )
Not to send the vibration back would be by sending good feelings and positive healing energy to the other person hoping for the better of the person. This one is not easy though its a hundred percent end to the cycle. It takes time though. Like if you had sent out 100 arrows and have received 80 then there are 20 more to go before you see a change.
All these discussions are on the surface level. There is a deeper meaning and understanding that would put an end to this entire scenario.
My Guru (Swami Nirmal Chetanji) said, “Everything that is happening with you is your creation and it can be bad. If you say the other person is bad, then it is you who are seeing the ‘bad’, you who are bad. Jisko bura lag raha hai wo bura. Because when you actually look deep within you will see that none is as bad as you are… Everything created by God is good. What we created could be good or bad depending on our level of consciousness.”
First I take this body and create a world around me. Then when I face trouble I blame the people around or wonder how such people exist. These people and the scenes are all created by me. If I am not happy with my creation I must re-create what I want. Yet I must remember that finally everything is passing (mithya) and that I am not a part of it finally.
The above explanation can be understood when one reaches the point.
My Guru said that when the darkness of ignorance goes away with the light of wisdom then the viveka ( discrimination power ) will guide one to truth.
This happens when one listens to the Guru and walks on the path set by him…
For people who are yet on the initial steps cannot see the view that the person on the top step of the ladder can see. But it is not disheartening as surely you are on the ladder and the last step is to be seen. The vision will be seen once you stand on that step!
This climb up needs purity, guidance, clarity, surrender to the Guru/supreme, goodness, nishkaam sewa…Can be considered as the steps to light or truth…a climb where the darkness of ignorance fades completely…