How do we manage difficult people in our life with the help of spirituality?
It seems to be a very simple question. But when one delves into it the depth leads you to the core of spirituality which means to the core of your being.
People are actually not difficult. They are what they are and they behave accordingly. It is our inability to accept people the way they are that troubles us. The moment you accept a person unconditionally, you no longer are troubled by their behaviour. The lack of love and acceptance is what makes us feel that some person is easy to deal with while some are difficult.
Always the work is on the self. WE can never change others. WE CANNOT! If we feel we have changed someone we are foolish. We can influence people and it happens when we are the change ourselves. People observe and like what they see and there is a remote chance that they will strive to be like us.
To explain the whole thing spiritually, we need to understand that each person who we are dealing with has a karmic account with us. We are bound with people around us because of our karma. When we feel someone is harsh with us or is giving us a tough time, it is a clear indication that your karmic account is very strong with that particular person. This is true otherwise also.
Generally we are tied by karmic bonds with our closest family members. This is a soul group which has come together to clear the karmas. So if you understand that everything happening with you and to you is just a return of what you had sent, it all becomes very clear.
Now you might receive lot of love from someone and probably lot of hatred from another person. Both cases your karmic account is strong. In one case it is receiving love and in the other it is receiving hatred for you had sent that energy to that person.
Now what you are facing is prarabhdha karma which is irreversible as it is already in the present. What we sow, we reap. So if you feel that you are having to deal with a set of difficult people, it is because at some time in your past lives you have given these very people a tough time.
If this is clear then you know that you are receiving only what you gave out. So you have to accept it. Now how you deal with this will result in your future karmic account. If you face this situation with love and acceptance ( now that you have understood that it is just a return of what you had sent) then you are creating good karmas which are stored now for your wonderful future in this life as well as the coming lives.
In case you are unable to accept such people and create negativity in your mind or in your behaviour with them then again you are sending out negative energy and soon you will be getting a return of the same. So then there is no point in complaining that the situation is not changing. It will not as it is like that war where you receive an arrow and you too send an arrow ( both arrows of hatred). Its a never ending cycle. The one who breaks the cycle is free…
Reverse it by sending out arrows of love. Now the question will be- How long? “Its been years since I have been good to such people and yet they are the same. Are they even going to change their behaviour with me?”
Here it will depend- you were good externally or internally too? The emotion (bhaav) is very important. At times you might speak nicely but in your heart you might be feeling anger or hurt. This is negative energy you have sent out unknowingly.
So every time you are in a situation, keep checking what your emotion is. That is the energy going out into the universe and you are going to receive the same. So send only what you want in return.
We always have a choice. Give what you want. Go on giving ‘coz you really do not have the ledger of accounts where you can check your karmic accounts.
So watch your emotion, your thoughts and your actions. Its all going to come back! Also we do not know when and how…
They are like those seeds that we have planted. Some might take a few days, few months, a few years or maybe a few lives. There is much more in depth- one can unravel this theory or one can just have a simple way to deal with it.
Just be good from deep within. Come what may, just be good. Things will reverse very soon…the difficulties or the difficult people will move away or probably change.
Our focus has to be only on the self. What I am thinking…what energy am I sending? And most important of all “What do I want?”
Send out the energy you want to receive- If you want love give love, if you want money give money, if you want peace give peace (be peaceful)…
Choose what you want!